Taking a page from here and here, I decided to refurb my nasty old white sneakers. Here’s the “before”:

To do the refurb, I employed nothing but the most cutting-edge tools:

For the price of the least-sexy toothbrush ever (sexier models here), a tube of toothpaste enriched with the magical properties of baking soda (from a company that does nothing but baking soda), and a pair of new laces, here’s the result:

Not bad! Plus I solved the mystery origin of Arm & Hammer’s logo: The Socialist Labor Party!